When I was living at the Salt Spring Centre of yoga for a summer I was surrounded by a devotional community dedicated to the teachings of yoga. Each asana and breath, every song and conversation seemed to be steeped in a sacred wash. It was beautiful except for one thing – I felt one step removed from this sacredness, like an outsider looking in. Try as I might the skeptic in me reigned supreme and despite the display that Spirit laid out before me I could not feast on these divine offerings. I had always felt a call from something deep and universal within me. I had always felt Spirit niggling at me to jump on the “peace train” and here I was at the train station and yet I could not get aboard. One day in the midst of a boisterous Satsang (gathering of community for chanting and singing) at the ashram I sat singing not for peace, light and joy but for faith in these things. In magical irony I prayed for faith that day. I prayed that I could have faith that the still point within me that called me throughout my life would guide me home if I let it. I prayed that I could have faith that I too deserved and could feel joy’s touch upon my heart. I prayed for faith that day, and it came.
It was a physical sensation for me, in the moments after that fervent prayer, when faith entered my humble being. And I have never looked back. I don’t always feel peace, or joy but I remain faithful to my journey toward them. This is all I can do- follow the light, in its ever varying brightness, toward it’s Source. I write this today because of recent conversations I have had with others about how it seems like a calm mind and peaceful heart are a long way off. These are the people who want “the more”, who feel the call of something divine with them but are sometimes discouraged by the immense gulf between their current state of being and that divine Source. To them I say, pray for faith in the Call that is already there. You know it to be true, now be faithful to it and let it draw you Home one small moment of peace at a time.
I will be taking a short sabbatical for a few weeks from blogging to work on a very difficult class I’m in currently for my MA program. I have to complete it before I leave on a 3 day retreat with Sandra Sammartino! I will be blogging on my experience with her when I get back – please check back or subscribe using the tool on the right side of the page so that you get my blogs through email and save having to check back to see if I’ve written.
Also Sandra’s retreat is not full, and it should be because she’s wonderful! Click here to get to her website and call the Yoga Association of Alberta to register (780) 427-8776. The retreat is March 10-13, 2011.